Good byes

I started this blog mainly because I feel the need to write about the food I make or am involved with on a daily basis. Most of my entries will be about food but today I need to talk about me and how I feel. I put my dog down on Sunday and I feel like a truck hit me. I'm heartbroken. He was my friend, my companion, my confidante, my dog. Six months ago my father, my sister, mother and I attended our first meeting at a rehab center where we were all going to be involved in a program for my father's alcohol addiction. That day, the women in my family decided we needed comfort food. Giulia my youngest sister was craving sushi, Where do you eat sushi in Lima at 6pm on a Tuesday? The gas station (yes the gas station has a little sushi restaurant) at the bottom of the cerro in La Molina. Giulia gets out of the car and this skinny, filthy little dog sits in front of her and hands her his paw. Immediately, Olivia (the middle sister) my mother and I jump out of the car. We asked and apparently this dog had been hanging around for about three months and he would beg for sushi scraps every day. We put him in the back of the car and took him to the vet. Three baths, lots of ticks and fleas later I picked him up the next day and took him home.
He was amazing from day one. This guy knew well that he had to behave for the cat from the start. He would wait for the cat to move out of his way, look at us for help even when he was getting beaten up by her. He wasn't a little dog either he could easily have opened his mouth and eaten her but he never did.
How do you explain a relationship with a dog? It's about having someone that loves you unconditionally, thinks you're his hero and dedicates his life to making you happy. Dogs don't ask for much as long as you give them food and water they give you so much love in exchange sometimes it's overwhelming.
Some part of him must have been a whippet or greyhoud he was lean and fast and loved to run around the park with us. Even Rodrigo the dog hating boyfriend grew to love him. Making the decision to put him down has been one of the most difficult moments of my life. I will never know if maybe just maybe he could have gotten better.
He woke up on Tuesday morning and could not move his back left leg, his neck was twisted at a really strange angle and he walked in circles. He looked confused, dazed and his pupils were tiny. I took him to the vet and we tried every test we could and found nothing. After a week of medicine, staying in a cage for three days, Saturday we saw that not only was he not getting better he was worse.
I chose to let him go on Sunday. I'd give anything to have him take out every piece of trash in the kitchen and strew it all over the house. I'd let him climb on the sofas, the bed whatever he wanted just to have him back. I miss my friend at the door when I come home. I miss hearing him dream in the middle of the night. Miss how my room smelled like dirty dog sometimes. All his annoying habits like leaning on me when I was on the computer and not letting me type seem so silly now.
I wanted to put this down on "paper" just to get it off my chest. I'm going to sprinkle his ashes in the park on Saturday on every tree he liked to pee on.